today i feel . . .

MEH.

{if MEH were a real word to describe a feeling, then this would be the word i choose}

just say it... MEH. 

it totally makes sense, and sounds kinda funny right?

i'm indifferent, then i'm frustrated.

i'm bored, then i'm excited, then i'm bored again.

i'm active, then i'm lazy.

i'm MEH.

kinda in between it all...

lately, i can't seem to make up my mind about anything. seriously. anything. which is why i chose not to blog the last couple of days. i feel like everything swirling around in my head isn't worthy to be written and shared with you all. i originally wanted this blog to be a journal, or a creative outlet, and lately i just feel like there's nothing to report.... other than what i already write about.

one day i love my hair, the next day i want to cut it all off. one day i'm super pumped on eating healthy and working out, the next day i ruin it with junk food and no exercise. i am constantly second guessing myself and i'm getting on my own nerves, which after writing that, makes me giggle inside a little.

i need a good mental cleansing. 

my head needs to be cleared of all this gunk that is clogging up my creative writing and positive attitude. honestly i need a vacation. i was hoping to be able to go on one with my tax return, until i found out i OWE a butt-load of money this year. so no vacation for me. awesome.

sorry everyone. i will stop now.

i'm in a serious little funk in my little space here in blog land.

what causes this funkiness that is MEH? i want it gone.

i want to be happy.

i want to write interesting stories, 

and be excited and motivated again.

DOES ANYONE HAVE ADVICE FOR GETTING OUT OF A FUNK LIKE THIS?

MEH.

battery low...

{caution: small tantrum/lots of reading ahead}

lately i've been feeling like i'm running on empty.

i've go no energy, no motivation, i feel BLEH.

i feel like a hamster on a wheel, 

and this hamster has had enough.

i wake up tired every morning,

and dream of blissful days that don't involve work.

i long for a vacation that lasts longer than 2 friggin days.

{if only i could afford to go anywhere}

needless to say, i've been a serious crabby pants lately

and can't figure out the root of the problem.

i'm trying to look on the bright side...

hey, it's wednesday... AND it's payday for me.

HECK YES.

i survived another "first week after 

paying rent and having no money until payday craziness."

go me.

i know i'm pretty close to being a grown up,

in fact to most people, i AM a grownup...

so why do i still feel like the starving student 

living paycheck to paycheck?

i don't have much in the way of savings,

i DONT have any money for a vacation,

and bills keep piling up on my kitchen counter.

i keep doing the RIGHT things, and it all ends up 

hitting the fan anyway, and costing me an arm and a leg.

{ahem, i started allergy shots yesterday, 
and my skin is reacting like i have poison oak. 
can something i do for my "health" not backfire for once?}

sorry for the all-over-the-place rant everyone. 

it's just been one of those weeks so far.

i'm hoping thursday and friday bring better things.

i'm suddenly reminded of a childhood book my parents 

used to read to me when i felt like this, 

and it always put things into perspective: 

COULD BE WORSE

one of my childhood favorites.

aren't children's books the greatest?